Such a bliss to have friends who, despite knowing or not knowing the exact reason why you were made upset by your other friends, would just curse or scold them just for the fact that they made you upset.
Just for that simple fact.
i feel like an outsider.
i feel like i don’t belong.
i feel like it’s different already.
i feel like it will be so difficult.
i just wanna stay at home.
Despite the numerous amount of attempts to encourage and motivate myself, be it telling myself ’ I can do it, I am from CCM, we are tough people, we don’t cry, we fight.’ or even going online to search for encouraging quotes, this is getting too much for me to handle.
Perhaps what my colleague said is right. Do what you think you really should be doing. You’re still young, you can study and get the qualifications and then look for careers that are linked to the F&B industry. You don’t have to be in the kitchen. If this is not what you think you want, then there is no point in continuing. You waste your time, you don’t enjoy.
Is cooking my passion? My interest? Why did I choose to come to this course in the first place?
The reason I came to this course was because I wanted to spread happiness, I wanted to make people happy with the dishes I whipped up. I wanted to go out of the kitchen and acknowledge guests and their comments. I want them to be happy.
But how naive I was.
Everything just wasn’t what I expected.
Its only now that I realise I want cooking as a pasttime. Not a career.
Cook to make people happy, to make guests happy.
Really, now I realise all I want is actually cook to make myself happy because I can enjoy the process at my own time.
Enjoy myself while cooking.
No service rush.
No scoldings.
Cook at my own time.
My own pace.
Do my own things.
Cook whatever I like. Take time to trial and error.
Yes, as a chef you have to do that too.
But I want to do all that at home.
My kitchen.
As a personal thing.
Not a career.
